3 Mantras For Women Practicing Mindfulness

Two months ago, I moved to Brooklyn, New York. It’s been a chaotic, but exciting, experience. As I begin to make my way in this unfamiliar city, meeting interesting people, discovering inspiring work spaces, and finding my new favorite coffee shops, I recognize the cumulative toll so many seemingly insignificant changes can take on me. In a time of immense change, mindfulness has proven an important skill for navigating the unknown. As a 22-year-old, entrepreneurial creative, mindfulness practices serve as grounding principles for preserving my sanity. I carry these three resounding mantras in my head with me each day wherever I go to guide my thoughts and actions.

1. “I can always change my mind.”

You don’t have to know everything, right now.

When I was young, I was too shy to voice my thoughts. I was afraid to have an opinion. As I got older, I became a people-pleaser, so nervous to be wrong that I never developed a true belief about anything. Whether it was entertainment, culture, politics, or religion, I let life slide by without knowing for certain what I thought or felt about it. Or, even worse, I blindly followed the crowd.

In college and my subsequent young adult years, I realized the growing importance of holding beliefs and evaluating the world around me based on a worldview. Even more empowering, was that I had the ability to develop this worldview all on my own. At first, developing opinions is hard, because you just have to start somewhere. Moreover, it’s uniquely challenging for women, because we are expected to be agreeable and unopinionated.

Eventually, I learned to give myself grace. I trained myself to walk through life with the mindset and mantra of: I reserve the right to change my mind. And you know what? I have changed my mind over the years, about lots of things.

I've gone back to blog posts and thought, wow, I really don't believe that or feel that way anymore. That is growth. If you're looking at your past with complete confidence in all your beliefs and choices, you haven't picked up any new knowledge along the way. If you aren't changing, you probably aren't growing.

So remember, you hold the right to change your mind. At anytime, anywhere. You're allowed to not please everyone. You're allowed to grow. You’re allowed to develop. As long as you’re open to the possibility of personal evolution, you’re allowed to change your mind.

2. “Intuition is my best friend.”

Intuition is your best friend. I am not suggesting you don’t still need a gal pal to eat ice cream with or have a girls’ night out, but intuition is more important than we give it credit for.

When you’re comfortable with who you are, and confident in where you’re headed, you’re better able to trust your decisions and act in your best interest. Your past ability to make good choices for yourself informs your future. Following my gut has led me to meaningful and life-defining relationships, opportunities, and creative pursuits.

Since moving to the Big Apple, I’ve noticed that people more comfortably discuss spirituality and mindfulness on a regular basis, particularly in entrepreneurial and creative circles. In a community this exciting, chaotic, and draining, mindfulness becomes a method of survival. An integral component of mindfulness is recognizing intuition. In New York, there is so much noise; it can be difficult to hear yourself think. Without the peace of mind that silence provides, we learn to lean more heavily on our intuition to guide us creatively and otherwise.

New York City: one of the few places where everyone is on a mission -- crowds of people, moving feet, rushing subways, honking cars. Everyone is going somewhere and right now. Before moving, I watched this chaos apprehensively, wondering where I fit in that picture. Where was I going? As I mused where my path would lead, I thought back to those crowds flowing around me, as I stood on New York’s never-quiet streets.

My journey leading to New York as home did not go as planned, as life often does. I had a housing situation lined up. I was all packed and saying my goodbyes in DC, when my digs fell through -- just forty-eight hours before I was supposed to move. Instead of fretting over the obviously stressful situation, I remained calm and clear-headed. I chose to lean on my intuition (read: my coping skills, connections, learned, helpful behaviors, and confidence in my decision making) to guide me quickly to affordable, safe, comfortable housing. It turns out, I ended up right where I needed to be, and I’m so incredibly content.

Life experience and a regular mindfulness practice has given me direction and an internal map that guides my decision making. Today, I am able to walk through these chaotic streets confidently and with purpose, trusting my dear friend, intuition, to lead me exactly where I need to go.

3. “My feelings are valid.”

In today’s society, women aren’t allowed to hold authentic, individual feelings about basically anything: relationships, politics, business, our own bodies, childrearing, sexuality. Attempts to hold genuine feelings are dismissed as hormones, emotional instability, or an armchair diagnosis of mental illness (“she’s crazy!”). This constant dictation by society on how women should feel, inevitably leads to women adopting these inauthentic, but sanctioned, perceptions.

Rather than acquiesce to society’s dismissal of my emotional experiences as a woman, I’ve chosen to validate them through mindfulness exercises. In most mindfulness practices, individuals are encouraged to identify, acknowledge, and accept their genuine emotions about situations or people. This serves two purposes: to more deeply understand our everyday emotions, and to allow ourselves space to work through these complex, but common, feelings. Only after thorough acknowledgement and acceptance can we intelligently respond to life’s plot twists. My healthy mindfulness practice enables me to thoughtfully examine each of my feelings, craft an appropriate response, and avoid knee-jerk reactions.

Think about the last time you burst into tears while watching a sad commercial, or yelled at someone out of anger who bumped into you on the sidewalk. Were your feelings valid? Mindfulness tell us yes. What’s up for debate is your reaction to these feelings. In scenario one, the feeling is sadness; the reaction is tears. In scenario two, the feeling is anger; the reaction is yelling. Sometimes crying is appropriate. Sometimes yelling is appropriate. Sometimes it’s not. Your feelings are always valid, but your reaction may or may not be. Reactions to our feelings can be influenced by many different factors, including lack of sleep, food, or patience. By working through our emotions, we can more effectively control our reactions.

Looking inward before reacting, we learn to acknowledge insecurities and imbalances in our lives that may be buried beneath the surface. Knee-jerk reactions are made without consciously evaluating the situation. By sitting with our emotions, we open a window into our subconscious minds, a place where all of our feelings are valid and worth examination.

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Carrying these mantras with me, I am able to navigate life’s ups and downs with a mindful awareness of my feelings, needs, and desires. Harnessing the strength of my transforming opinions, developed intuition, and authentic emotions, I move into new spaces of exploration within myself. I remind myself that mindfulness isn’t naturally-occurring. It’s a practice. It takes time and effort, but it becomes easier the more I do it.

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Lizzie Steimer is a writer, photographer, and all over creator. After graduating with a degree in Journalism and Mass Communications (and a few minors in business, creative writing, and graphic design), she moved to Brooklyn, NY. She loves inspiring human souls to be real and authentic, and loves being inspired by the power of human connection. She does this through her social media platform #HalfTheStory, which highlights the stories we don't normally share.

Follow her journey on Instagram @lizzieaudreyy ,

and through her website lizziesteimer.com.