From One Working Woman To Another, Ask For What You Deserve

Growing up the oldest of four siblings, I learned at an early age, as a woman, to put other people’s needs before my own. I watched my mother do the same. She juggled four kids while working at home, always prioritizing everyone else ahead of her. Although my mother’s selfless and loving behavior contributed to the love and warmth of our home, I realized subconsciously that I needed to become my own best advocate in order to get what I want from life.

I am a career consultant. Building on a foundation of hard work and my own experience in the corporate world, I found my passion in helping other people advocate for themselves in the workplace.

It is no secret the inequities and challenges women face in the corporate world. As a business woman myself and career consultant, I have amassed endless stories and examples of just how disheartening the workplace can be for women. For example, “[n]early twice as many women as men say they have witnessed gender discrimination at work in the last 12 months. This discrepancy is especially evident when it comes to compensation.” Likewise, according to a 2016 report released by the U.S. Congress Joint Economic Committee, the gender pay gap is significant across the United States, but varies widely. For example, in Washington, DC, the nation’s capital, women make ten percent less than men; in the Deep South, in a state like Louisiana, a woman can expect to make thirty-five percent less than her male colleagues. For women of color, the disparity is even greater. As a black woman, I can go on for hours with personal stories of being underpaid and accepting it.

When working with my women clients, the topic of pay inequality comes up regularly, so regularly, in fact, that it’s become a passion point for me. On top of the gender pay gap, “[w]omen are less likely than men to negotiate for themselves . . . [T]hey often are socialized from an early age not to promote their own interests and focus instead on the needs of others.” It is my goal to help women overcome these challenges, despite the odds being stacked against us.

So often, for women, our first models of how to project ourselves come from watching our mothers. Not unlike my own experience, I had a client who found herself limiting her voice as a consequence of learned behavior from her youth. At the time that she became my client, she worked for a large healthcare system in Atlanta. During an expansion of its cardiac unit, my client was asked to take on additional responsibilities without any mention of added compensation. During our initial consultation, she expressed frustration about not being offered additional pay for additional duties, but as is a common misconception, she believed that with time and hard work, she would be compensated accordingly.

In my experience and in these situations, however, I’ve found that women must proactively ask for what they want. As history has shown us, hope will only get you so far. Together, we researched the market, looked at comparable salaries for her new position, discussed her latest performance review, examined her rapport with the department, and concluded that she could reasonably request a $2-$6/hr increase from her current salary. Ultimately, she received a $3/hr increase with a succession plan to change her title after six months. Not only was my client thrilled for a salary increase, of course, but the tangible affirmation of her value gave her a renewed sense of confidence and appreciation for what she brings to the table professionally.

My clients’ experiences are not foreign to me. I can relate on a personal level. I was always taught if I do a great job, someone will recognize my hard work and give me what I deserve. I have learned that’s not always the case.

After receiving my MBA in 2015, I was lowballed in negotiations with an employer I had been eyeing for some time. During these interviews, I went in prepared, locked and loaded with information about myself -- what I had accomplished -- and the company’s needs, to use as leverage. Unfortunately, we were unable to come to a mutual agreement and my hopes of working for this company came to an end.

Since the Atlanta market is small, I knew the candidate that ultimately filled the position. We worked together previously, so I felt comfortable asking him about the details of his acceptance with the company. Can you blame me for being curious, considering the intensity of our negotiations? As I opened up his email and my eyes glanced over the words, the growing pit in my stomach was heavy. I almost couldn’t believe the words I was reading; his final offer was for $20,000 more than I had been offered. In that moment, I was shocked, but my husband assured me I did the right thing -- not underestimating my value. I stuck to my guns, and although my reward was delayed, I eventually accepted an offer with another company that was at my sweet spot plus an annual bonus, just three months later.

Despite earning a graduate degree, having years of work experience under my belt, and making a career out of helping people get more out of their jobs, I still have moments of self doubt. I get anxious. I get underboob sweat. Being a professional does not make my armor impenetrable. I’m still a human. What my experience does give me is reassurance that my skills are valuable, that I bring a lot to the table, that I deserve the success that I enjoy.

There are a lot of unique challenges, being a woman professional, but there are ways for us to remain confident in our talents, move assertively through fear and ask for the things we really want. As a career consultant, I have access to a wealth of information, including HR databases and memberships to industry and trade associations that work to round out my toolkit of helpful resources. However, there are many practices women can implement on their own to thwart the system designed to work against them and empower them to go after the compensation their worth demands.

Here are some simple ways to take control when it comes to your career path:

One. Before interviewing or asking for a raise, research the employment market for median salary ranges to gain familiarity with acceptable compensation for similar positions. Glassdoor and Hoover’s provide free and paid-for resources, reports and services to assist with your research.

Two. Network and befriend professionals in your industry. Building a circle of colleagues willing to discuss salary history and employment stories can provide valuable insight and support.

Three. Join industry-specific associations to better understand the goingson in your field.

Four. Write affirmations to bolster your confidence and manifest a specific goal.

Five. When negotiating with a current or potential employer, keep the focus on your expertise and skills, and how they specifically relate to the needs of the organization.

Six. Log your efforts. Tracking and quantifying what you have accomplished makes interviewing and asking for a raise much easier. We are quick to forget just how much we contribute day-in and day-out.

Being a working woman is tough, but the right resources and support it a little easier. Now get to it. Go break that glass ceiling, and ask for what you deserve.

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Jasmin Forts, MBA, is a self-proclaimed "Livelihood Enthusiast” who cares how people prepare for identifying and maintaining their careers. She has grown her enthusiasm into a full-blown career services agency, working with all levels of professionals since 2012. Inspired by an amazing network of women, Jasmin ensures all her clients feel welcomed and walk away feeling delightfully confident in their career goals.

On a personal level, Jasmin an avid reader, ginger tea connoisseur, and mother of two. Her super dope husband, along with her girlfriends, support her and keep her grounded. All in all, she loves uplifting other women. She is, in her own words, her “sister’s keeper.”

You can find her on Instagram @jobbingwithjas, Facebook: Jobbing With Jas, Twitter: JobbingwithJas and her website: www.jobbingwithjas.com.