Artist's Story Told Through Her Greatest Friendships

According to Joseph Addison, “The greatest sweetener of human life is friendship. To raise this to the highest pitch of enjoyment, is a secret which but few discover.” Count Stephanie Spencer among those few. On a sweltering Sunday afternoon, Stephanie and I spent a few hours swapping stories on the meaningful women in our lives, and sharing a necessarily chilly “mimosa kit” at Gourmet Shop.

I liked Stephanie the instant I met her. She was covered in tattoos, smoking a cigarette, gorgeous, and not the slightest bit shy. I always admire a person who talks as much as I do. Maybe because it gives my vocal chords some reprieve. . . Anyway, we met outside Indigo Rose, in Five Points, where she’s been professionally drawing on people since 2012. Yep, she’s a tattoo artist.

“Being a tattoo artist, sometimes people assume I’m really cool or intimidating.” She said, examining her glass before taking another sip. “People bring their own baggage to my table. It has nothing to do with me. I don’t take things too personally. Your perception is your reality.” That’s a lot of wisdom for a 27 year old, but she’s also lived a lot of life. In 27 shorts years, she’s managed to study sculpture, run a coffee shop, survive a sexual assault, escape a cult, get married, divorced, and remarried, and somehow found time to land a gig at the premier tattoo studio in town.

Not surprisingly, if Stephanie weren’t a tattoo artist, she’d be a therapist. “My clients are truly my inspiration. They come from so many different backgrounds and have such different stories. Tattooing can take a while; so people share a lot with me. So much so, that sometimes I’m like, ‘I’m not a priest!’” She laughed.

Stephanie was a breath of fresh air in more than one way. Besides her affable personality, Stephanie is excelling in a male-dominated industry. Over the course of her career, she’s managed to work for multiple studios that were owned and managed by women. So naturally, she’s learned from the incredible female (and male) artists who work with her. But Stephanie credits her specific success to several women, who supported her professionally and emotionally, and ultimately, pushed her to be the best version of herself.

Grandmother

“If I ever had a daughter, she’d have been you,” Stephanie’s grandmother told her. To date, she cherishes that as the greatest compliment she’s ever received. “My grandmother is my favorite person,” Stephanie grinned, tapping her cigarette out, and positioning her gaze across Saluda Avenue. “I wouldn’t be who I am without my grandmother.” Shifting in her seat, Stephanie lifted up the side of her shirt to show me a tattoo that spanned the length of her torso. “Most of my tattoos don’t have a lot of meaning, except this one. I got a naked lady for my grandmother.”

She went on to describe how her grandmother had been there for her through her greatest trials and tribulations, including her divorce and subsequent separation from a cult. Not only was her grandmother an incredible support to Stephanie in the nurturing sense, she was also inspiring in her own right. “My grandmother was a feminist before it was cool to be a feminist. She was this powerful, corporate woman, who worked her way to the top decades ago. She garnered a lot of success before women had really done that in the corporate world.” That reminds me, I need to call my grandmother. . .

Teammates in Life

As it turns out, Stephanie has accomplished one of my life goals: living next door to your best friend. “I bought a house next door to my best friend Christie,” Stephanie beamed, watching for my response, probably knowing my jaw would drop out of pure jealousy. My mind briefly drifted off to fantasies of doggie playdates, shared meals, at-home hair dyeing, and nights spent eating entire containers of Oreos. I asked how that dynamic works for them. “Christie is a lot like my husband. The dynamic works. Sometimes we spend 24/7 together, and other days, life gets in the way, and we don’t see each other.”

Not only do the two comrades-in-life live next door to each other, they also play competitive pool on the same team in Columbia, the Hide-a-Hellions. Just two weeks ago, they competed in a national competition in Las Vegas, where they placed 129th out of 400, playing against numerous national teams, as well as Canada and Japan. “Once, a man started photographing the two of us while we were playing pool. He’d never seen women playing pool before.” Despite the occasional pool gawker, the two women bonded over their love of the game, and ultimately, their love of each other. As the cherry on top of a seemingly perfect scenario, Christie is a massage therapist and esthetician, which has its obvious perks. “Christie is important to me for so many reasons, but in the career sense, she helps me physically do my job.” Tattooing can be long and tedious work -- making Stephanie even more grateful for Christie’s talents as a massage therapist. Moral of the story: we all need a friend like Christie.

Her Heart’s Mirror

And finally, there’s the person who completely changed the rules of the game for Stephanie. The person who metaphorically said, screw it, we aren’t playing Monopoly anymore; we’re playing Dreamphone. For Stephanie, that person is Jess, her oldest friend, closest confidante, and the mirror image of her heart. “She’s influenced every aspect of my life, my art, my work, everything.” Steph said, resting her chin in her hand for a moment, lost in thoughts about her friend. The pair met in art school at the Columbia College. Stephanie was a sculpture major; Jess--a painter. “I walked into my first day of class, looked at her, and knew instantly that she was going to be my best friend.” The energy was there; the universe had spoken; and the two women fully and utterly accepted their joyous fate. “The two of us joke that it’s good we aren’t in the same line of art, otherwise we’d be each other’s competition,” Stephanie laughed.

Talented, driven, and totally committed to each other, their friendship has thrived despite the challenges thrown at it: long-distance, job insecurities, even bouts with mental illness. “Jess is an abstract painter, and a lot of her art revolves around body image and her struggle with bulimia.” Stephanie recounted the Thanksgiving when Jess returned from Savannah College of Art Design (SCAD) after her first semester: Jess lost a significant amount of weight in a short period. “I called out of work the next day to spend the day with her. We sat in front of the fire at her parents’ house, sipping tea--Jess’ favorite. I just told her, Jess, I want you to know that it’s okay to not be okay. You have permission to feel how you want to feel, and be how you want to be in this moment. It’s okay to not be okay. Feel whatever you need to feel. What’s not okay is to stay that way.” After their conversation, Jess sought therapy and made a dedication to recovery; today, she is thriving, artistically and otherwise. As an ode to the struggle of that time and a reminder of her strength, Stephanie keeps some of Jess’ art in her studio at work.

In an article I read recently, “Transformation And Transcendence: The Power Of Female Friendship,” Emily Rapp, describes the utter importance of this vital force that is friendship between women:“Support, salvation, transformation, life: this is what women give to one another when they are true friends, soul friends, what the Irish call anam cara.” Stephanie and her girlfriends embody this life-force philosophy of friendship. They lean into each other, mentally, artistically, and sometimes even physically. Together they live fuller, happier, more beautiful lives.

Editor’s Note: Stephanie shared stories of many women who’ve had a major impact on her life. These are just a few.

If you want some of Stephanie’s stunning artwork on your body, like I do, contact her at Indigo Rose Tattoo Studio at (803) 799-2844 or check her out on Instagram at @S_Melora_Tattoos.